}
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Saturday, November 17, 2007

bsn 2-c shirt (front)


lostandconfused lost herself at 8:43 PM |


Thursday, November 15, 2007

Mr. Definition

inspired by my English instructor
who talks to us like he thinks we're stupid
to he who gives us quality time
to exercise our artistic prowess
by boring us to death
and denying it.


Dry lips release
a chorus of yawns
in a vain
attempt to overshadow
his monotonous song.
Boring,
an understatement
made by wandering
heads propped on
impatient hands
that count the
minutes his every word
robs.

lostandconfused lost herself at 2:53 AM |


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

lost in confusion

The fog
subsides
only to reveal
a

m
a
z
e.

lostandconfused lost herself at 8:04 AM |


hopeless (repost)

words end in
vain.
they cannot define
nor give
the slightest justification
to what i feel.
or not feel.
nothing can.
when the letters
form into words and start
to make sense,
you make me realize
how clumsy i have been.
so inept.
unsure.
then the words
evolve into a
code.
impossibly rare.
unbreakable.
only through my heart
could i understand.
but not really.
somehow
truth sets in.
and i have
to close my eyes
just to plainly see
this deception.
digital fortress.
deceiving myself. blinded
by mere dreams
of perfection.
idealisms.
you.
and your
promising smile
which wasn't
really meant for me
to start with.

lostandconfused lost herself at 8:00 AM |


Monday, November 12, 2007

front


lostandconfused lost herself at 4:45 AM |


back portion


lostandconfused lost herself at 4:26 AM |


Sunday, November 11, 2007

all this is giving me headaches

i keep having headaches. not just any headache, my head is throbbing and it feels like it's a second away from falling off.

it started last night and it was still there when i woke up this morning. i hoped it would somehow go away, but it didn't. i thought i just need more of my beauty sleep so i slept again. later, i discovered it was silly of me to believe so. gah! fortunately, my mom gave me advil. now, now... why didn't i think of that? stuuupid.

anyway, i have cash. lol. it's from some generous people during my birthday. i don't know what i'm going to buy though. err.. what i'm going to buy first, i mean. there are just so much i want and the money surely won't be enough. i'm choosing between an ipod nano 3rd gen or a watch. hmm.. maybe lotsa books. or rubber shoes. cellphone. dvd's? ugh! god i want lotsa things!

i want books. i've been itching to read something lately. i almost bought "tuesdays with morrie" and the sequel to "on the brighter side i am now the girlfriend of a sex god" (i forgot the title) last time i went to natio. thank god i didn't have money then. >.<

it's 1 am and i still have class tomorrow (or later), but i haven't finished my assignment yet. sht. i hate assignments. i hate school. who doesn't? argh.

lostandconfused lost herself at 7:30 AM |


Saturday, November 10, 2007

emo is gay

let me state for the record that i am NOT emo.

people assume that i am when, seriously, i'm not. i don't know when the teasing started and i don't really care, but word travels fast (since my classmates aren't at all fans of discretion) and before i knew it others already assume that i'm emo. talk about bandwagon!

don't get me wrong. i am not deeply hurt by this labeling (okay, i am somehow... a bit... offended, but definitely not hurt). i just think that it isn't fair for me here.

what is it that makes people think i'm emo? is it because of my taste in music? just because i listen to some bands who make good music doesn't mean i live and bathe their words. is it because i frustratingly write poems? (those words don't even have the slightest resemblance to poetry!) last time i checked, self expression wasn't a crime. my self expression, that is. or is it because i'm an introvert who often allots quality time for my self? if you're looking for a people-person, maybe i can introduce you to my friend karen. but not me. absolutely anyone but me. fact is i'm an avoider. withdrawn. i don't usually do small talk. heheh.. but i'm learning. ha. i'm pretty moody too. but i swear it isn't me. i think it's the hormones doing all these to me. hormones are such pesty lil things.

i am all these and more, and this is my world. you cannot me make pretend to be an entirely different person just to please people. i hate people who have these high expectations from me... those who dictate who i'm supposed to be. i'm supposed to be me, dammit! i'm being me. i don't want to fit into some box of your definition of me.

wtf. i'm ranting, aren't i?

oh well, i don't really care what you think of me. (okay. i care somehow. maybe a bit. but not really.) as long as you stay in your world, then i'll promise to stay in mine.

lostandconfused lost herself at 5:22 AM |