}
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Friday, July 18, 2008

numb

i keep you safe,
locked away in my drawer
with the cobwebs
of a past
unknown
to the world.


These past few weeks have been without a doubt the numbest days of my life. I keep floating from one day to another. I have no idea where I'm going to end up next. I keep trying to find myself (no, i am not exaggerating or being melancholic), but i am always a step behind. i cannot explain how i feel, how much i've aged, or why i can no longer recognize the smile i see on the mirror. things change. a LOT of things have changed. maybe i could never look beyond the past to the extent that i subconsciously refuse to see the future, beside the fact that i have become a peter pan. i have never outgrown my neverland. i have no future! i have no life! gah!

Raindrops keep falling on my head...na na nana nana nana..
It rained the other day. I held out my hands, walking away from the shelter of the shed, and I welcomed each falling drop on my face. Someone up above must have known how much I adore the rain. Too bad, I could not bask in its divine downpour. I had too pass. I couldn't afford to get sick. I had to go on duty the next day. So I opened my umbrella and headed home, watching the rain as its mere presence comforted me. Maybe tomorrow. If it'll rain, maybe then.

you'll have to forgive me for ranting. these past few weeks have been way beyond my maturity or intellectual level.


lostandconfused lost herself at 4:47 AM |